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The motivated kids in your senior class have organized the prom. Your job is to show up in a tux and dance to all the songs you love hearing at convenience stores. Then you take a limo somewhere afterward and get to be crazy for a few hours before you fall asleep on top of three other people. It's a great time, and if you're lucky, you have a date who wants to get frisky at some point. But there's plenty of ways to mess it all up...
1. Being A Dick To The Limo Driver
Nobody wants to deal with teenagers' bulls**t 'til 5 a.m., no matter how much it pays. Don't mess with him, heckle him or pretend to be his friend. Your date won't be impressed. Besides, why are you talking to the limo driver instead of her?
2. Dancing Like A White Boy
The more you try to dance like Prince, the more you'll look like Seth Rogen. The safe bet is to dance the way you think Rick Ross would dance--just stand there, leaning back a little when your date bends down, and put your hands in the air at a 45-degree angle.
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3. Wearing A Crazy Outfit
That tuxedo t-shirt? Lame. You'll just get this response from everybody: "We get it, you're soooo different."
Unless, of course, your date also shows up wearing a crazy outfit. You dressing as Amar'e Stoudemire, goggles and all: dumb. You and your date dressing as a reunited Kanye and Kim, baby bump and all: awesome.
4. Taking Drugs
This is prom...you only get one. It's gonna be fun without the X. Plus, your date won't consider you a gentleman when you're trying to pet her back like a carpet.
5. Drinking Too Much
When you think of proms in the '50s and '60s, you think of dudes getting laid for the first time. When you think of proms now, you think of dudes getting whiskey d**k for the first time. Also, no ladies want to sleep with you when you're that wasted. If you're wearing a tux and riding in a limo, try to act the part.
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